Something To Be Thankful For

I have had a couple experiences as of late that have really humbled me, if that is the right word. Maybe a better way to say it is that I have realized how much I have to be thankful for, and I supposed, with Thanksgiving next week, today was as good a day as any to describe my experiences. Please don't think I am bragging in anything I say here, it is meant only to convey how blessed I am, anyone who knows me could name more than several weaknesses of mine, so I am not trying to boast here, just so you know.

Blessing Number 1: The Gospel.
I have been reading this book as of late (don't worry, this isn't a book review post) called "Tortured for Christ" it was written by a man who suffered for his Christian beliefs in communist Romania. I have always been grateful for the Gospel, but I have never had to suffer anything near like what I read about. I won't go into exactly what they suffered, but it was literally the stuff of nightmares. When I hear what others have suffered for something I have always had abundant access to, including the Scriptures, the Sacrament, the Temple, and much more.

Blessing Number 2: My Family.
Throughout my youth, I have long taken this for granted as well. It was not until I went on a mission and into the homes of many, many, different families and individuals that I realized what a great blessing I had. I have two wonderful parents who love each other, as well as me. Four siblings that I love dearly and would do anything for, just as I know they would me. As a family, we sacrifice for, learn from, and teach one another. I could not ask for anything more in a family.

Blessing Number 3: My Friends.
Having been on the side of the spectrum where friends are scarce or non-existent, I am extraordinarily grateful to have such supportive, fun, caring friends as I have now. Many of my friends have sacrificed for me in ways that are more meaningful to me than they may ever know. Others have set examples for me that have impacted me a great deal.

Blessing Number 4: My Health.
In both mind and body I realize more all the time how richly I am blessed. I always kind of figured that school was as easy for others as it is for me. But when I think about how much more effort others put into certain study efforts than me, and have to work much harder to achieve the same results, I realize that a clear mind is a great blessing. (Once again, I'm not bragging, most of you who read this have the same blessing in this regard.) In the same vein, I am so grateful for a healthy body, all five senses, the ability to walk, run, swim, jump, bike, and play. The ability to do virtually anything I set my mind to. I hate to close on a sad note, but I want to share the story that set off this whole reflection on how good I've got it.

Yesterday, as I was driving down South Temple on my way to school when I saw a woman, holding a cane, indicating that she was blind, sitting in a "jazzy" motorized wheel chair, indicating that she couldn't walk, and worst of all, she had driven off the platform of the trax station, and gotten stuck half on the platform, the other half of the tracks themselves. She sat there, rocking back and forth, weeping. I saw her and my heart wrenched. I stopped my car in the middle of the road and ran out to help her. Two other guys were coming up at the same time and together we lifted her back onto the platform. She sit there, weeping, as the other two guys left. I had to resist the impulse to wrap her in my arms and just hold her, trying to offer her any comfort I could muster. Instead, I helped her across the street and asked her what I could do to help. Between gasping sobs, she cried that she was just trying to get to the Crown Burger, I told her I would help her, if I could just get my car out of the road. I parked, and ran back to her, now she was accompanied by a UTA attendant, who called for medical help because this young woman had likely broken her foot, in an attempt to brace herself from falling off the platform. My heart wrenched again, and I couldn't leave for fear that there was anything I could do for her. When the fire department arrived and started asking medical questions, I learned that she also had a damaged back from a bus incident a few months ago, she was on several anti-anxiety medications, and I noticed her "Jazzy" battery was almost dead, and she was only 19.

Even now, I have a difficult time keeping the image of this young girl out of my mind. I can still see her, stuck on the tracks, rocking back and forth and weeping because of pain, fear, humiliation, anxiety, frustration, and helplessness. All I wanted was to comfort her, I could only imagine the fear of being lost in a big city, without taking into account being blind, with heightened anxiety, not being able to walk, riding an electric wheelchair in which the battery could die any miunte.

Reflecting on these experiences, I cannot help but feel like I have no right to ever complain about anything, ever. On the contrary, I feel like I should do nothing but go about giving thanks every moment of every day.

Karaoke

I know it has been at least 20 years since I have blogged, but I admit that once school started, I am always too preoccupied with school assignments and so forth to put much thought and/or effort into blogging. But I did have an experience a while ago that I told some friends I would relate via blog, so I take this brief time I have at work to fill everyone in.
First off, doesn't the word "karaoke" look funny? It doesn't look like it sounds to me and I always have to look it up after wards to make sure I spelled it right. Anyway, where was I... Oh yeah, CostCo. As a matter of fact, I am at CostCo quite often these days, the reasons for which I may have to elaborate upon in a later post. This particular day we had taken a a "field trip" from work (my job is way close to CostCo) to go and get a bunch of free samples for lunch.
It was a good day, we made the usual round from the bakery through the cheese area and up and down the cold aisles to make sure we didn't miss any, ending on the waffles with real maple syrup. Now, there is a delicate art to sample-collection. If you can manage to get a good dialogue going with the sample people, then they will likely give you more and/or bigger samples. This worked particularly well on the chimichanga sample-man who ended up cutting them in thirds instead of fifths and offering multiple pieces to us, score! Yet I digress...
After all the cold aisles, we ended up wandering through the seasonal stuff and we came across a neato little karaoke machine, with built in microphones and speakers. Of course, for Tosh and I, this proved to be an irresistible opportunity to push the limits of our comfort zones and have a little fun at the same time. There were no good songs, and each one we attempted was thoroughly embarrassing. We didn't know most of them, but we did our best, the girls were too wimpy to join in, so they watched from afar and pretended not to know us. After a couple songs, we got a couple of fans, one older, foreign lady actually came up to us to express her enjoyment. We felt our deed was done, until I realized we had one more spectator who deserved a personal tribute...
It was at this point that a song I was actually somewhat familiar came on the screen. It was "All You Wanted" by Michelle Branch. Not the most ideal song for a couple of guys to sing, but it would have to do. The introductory notes started playing and I shouted into the microphone a dedication of this song to the waffle sample lady. It was as stirring a rendition of a Michelle Branch song I had ever sang publicly.
If you are wondering if there is a point to this blog post, you can stop now, because there really isn't. But if I had to make one up for some reason, I would say that it is a tribute to the people in our lives who labor tirelessly to bring joy and happiness to others without seeking personal recognition. In particular, the waffle ladies in each of our lives. So next time you are at CostCo, remember to thank the sample people for the joy that they bring into your life each and every visit, and if you are not in too much of a hurry, stop and sing them a little song. You will not only get the joy of bringing a smile (or look of utter confusion) to some random old-person's face, but you may just get another sample out of them, and that is what it is really all about.

"Do One Thing Every Day That Scares You"

I don't expect any of my readers to know the origin of the quoted title, unless I have one of those random creepy blog-stalkers. It is a quote from a video I posted a few months ago that I said really inspired me to make something more interesting out of my life. And it is filled with lots of great one-liners and pieces of advice and counsel for life. Highly recommended!

Anyway, back to the point. I have not taken the aforementioned advice as seriously as I have taken others. I do not make it a point to do something scary everyday, because I haven't really been able to see the point. But it started to fit together on that day in Good Earth Natural Foods... But recently, more events have occurred that have taken me well out of my comfort zone, and as a result I found that my comfort zone has expanded each time something like that happens. No wonder there is such value in leaving your comfort zone!

So I thought I would share a couple experiences I have had that have been kind of scary. One of which was forced out of my comfort zone, the other one I voluntarily left it.

First story: The other week I was babysitting my nephew Tate. A note about babysitting, I love little kids, especially ones that I am related to. But there is one thing that I have successful avoided for my whole life as a babysitter, I have never had to change a "poopy" diaper. I came close once, I was playing with Tate when an odious stench filled the air. My sister (his Mom) was due to arrive home any minute, so I prayed that it would be soon. But the situation soon worsened as I discovered that the frothy excretions were not fully contained by the diaper! I panicked and put Tate on his changing table and went to the opposite corner of the room to sit in the rocking chair. He was stranded by a wall on one said and a four foot drop every other direction, so there I sat. Rocking and watching him to make sure he didn't jump/fall off. In a few more minutes I heard the door open and called out to my sister as if this crisis was just barely under way and happily passed the baton over to her, seeking refuge in the basement. Crisis averted!

But the next time this happened, I was NOT so lucky. It was a similar situation, but the problem was that it happened shortly after my sister and brother-in-law left. I knew I could not just wait like last time. So I took inventory of the situation. I ran into the bathroom and started searching through cupboards for supplies. I found a box of latex gloves and quickly grabbed them and when I could not find any surgical masks I ran to the kitchen to grab a paper towel and stuffed it into the collar of my shirt, and proceeded to drop essential oils (Peppermint and Lemon) on it to neutralize any odors. What happened next was all a big blur, I remember hands and legs flailing around, lots of baby wipes, laughing, and a cloud of baby powder... then it was over. I sat there, my mind reeling with the implications of what had just happened, I could not claim total inexperience as an excuse ever again. (But if any of my siblings are reading this- don't get any ideas, I do not plan on repeating this anytime soon!) The moral of this story is though: as long as you have the right supplies and are prepared, and keep your cool, you can make it through even the most horrible situations!

The Classy Way to Execise; Part 1: Spin Class

Obviously, I have decided to cancel Book Review Monday due to a general lack of interest among my readers. But one failed series attempt deserves another, so please welcome Boring No More's latest and greatest review series: "The Classy Way to Exercise!"

Recently I have taken a few exercise classes at my local 24 Hour Fitness to try new things and see what they are all about. My experiences varied so greatly, and slightly comically, that I decided I would do a few posts to discuss my experiences...

The first one I tried since getting home from my mission was a Yoga class. But since I already did an entire post dedicated to that, I will let that suffice and move on to Spin class. This is the only group exercise class I ever took before my mission. For some reason, I remember liking it a lot more... When I attempted another spin class recently, all I could think of was how awful it was!

Don't get me wrong, I love biking. It is my strongest of the three legs of Triathlon, but I think that if you were to take everything that is awful about biking, and take away everything that is enjoyable, you would get... a spin class. Really, the thrill of racing down a hill with the wind in your face, the feeling of effortlessly leaning into a long turn that makes you feel like you are one with the machine, the sun on your back, passing people, reaching destinations, maneuvering, and cheating traffic laws while laughing at cars... All of the things that make me love biking, gone. And all is left is a dark room with loud music, someone yelling at you, and a whole bunch of fatigue. I do not dispute in the least that you can get your heart rate up or get a good workout from a spin class, but lets face it, biking kicks its butt! Maybe I'll try again in the winter when there's no outdoor alternative.

Positive Thinking

We have all heard the ancient proverb, "For as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he." Many others may have even read the short, albeit famous book by James Allen on the subject. But I believe that most of us to not make these words real in our lives through application, or at least we do not do it in a conscious way. Which is quite a shame because there is real power in the practice of positive thinking. (as there is with negative thinking as well...)
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To illustrate my point, I will reference a story from Dr. Melvin Fish's book "Healing the Inner Self." The following is a true account.

"A family was in a car, traveling through an intersection, when a drunk
driver went through a red light at a speed in excess of 100 mph. Upon impact, the family’s car was broken completely into two separate parts, and the occupants scattered. The wife ended up on her back in the median. She knew she had many broken bones so she made no attempt to move. Her little child lay some distance away with a badly fractured skull. The husband was the least injured of any of them. He walked over to his wife and said as he looked down on a bloody mess, “I am a dead man.” Before morning, even though he had no serious injury, he slipped from this world to the next. All the other members of the family recovered."

This story demonstrates how much power there is in our words. Because words spring from thoughts, they make whatever idea you have seem even more real to yourself, the same is true for visualization. Allow me to quote another story from the same source cited above.

"This young man had been a basketball player for the university where he had been attending school, just a year or two prior to this time. While playing ball, he suffered a severe injury which damaged the ligaments in his ankle. The doctor told him that the body never heals itself from such an injury and he must accept the fact that he would never walk on that foot again.
He was not willing to accept that diagnosis. He kept all doubt out of his mind by constantly concentrating on the following mental picture: He visualized tiny little men within his body repairing the injury. To make the mental picture as vivid as possible, he even visualized them wearing T-shirts with logos on them. For several days he visualized those little men with
hammers, chisels, shovels, and brooms chipping away, cleaning up and discarding all of the damaged tissue just as workmen would dispose of debris from a badly damaged building before attempting to rebuild it. The next week was spent in visualizing these same little men with saws,
hammers and nails, bricks and mortar, etc. rebuilding his ankle. Two weeks after the injury, this young man returned to his doctor who could not believe his eyes. He was walking on both feet.
There was, however, a lot of stiffness in the ankle. Visualization then took on another phase of healing. The little men began working first, for a few days, with sandpaper, smoothing and sanding away the scar tissue. Next they spent several days polishing and buffing the new tissue.
Last of all they went around through the ankle with little oil cans lubricating the new tissue. The ankle completely recovered becoming as healthy and normal as the other. The interesting postscript to the story is the fact that soon after starting to play ball again he injured the other ankle, which was also completely healed in the same manner. Both ankles are completely normal and he can play ball without any difficulty or handicap."

Given these two examples, would you not rather utilize this power to make your life better? This is the principle upon which the book and documentary "The Secret" are based. The law of attraction, or the law of the harvest. We get what we focus on consistently, and too many of us in our day and age are consistently visualizing and talking about the negative. Saying things like "I hate my life." "My life sucks." "I'm so ugly." "I'll never reach ____ goal." "I just know I am going to get sick." and so on and so forth. What horrible realities to create for yourself!

Visualizing what you want to happen, and saying positive things about your life and situation is the sure fire way to happiness and success. You may have heard of people practicing "affirmations." To society, it seems like a silly practice, but it can help a lot with focusing your thoughts on the positive. It involves saying positive statements that are in present tense about yourself. So rather than "I will be skinny someday", you say something like "I am excited. I weigh ____ pounds and have never felt better. I love to look in the mirror, and have my clothes feel loose on me. I radiate a sense of health and well-being to everyone around me." See the difference? Imagine how much more powerful that last affirmation is compared to the first, and when combined with a visualization, just imagine the possibilities. But to have it work we have to stop attending pity-parties that we may tend to throw for ourselves, as these will only cause us to focus on the negative, which is what we will end up getting more of.

I know that this process is effective and that it works. I use it often in my life for a variety of problems and concerns. For some reason, it tends to be most effective right before bed and right before you wake up, perhaps your sub-conscious mind is most active at those times and takes those affirmations as truth. I know as well as any how difficult it can be at times to think positively, but in closing this post I will share with you a method I have used to help me when the negative and stressful thoughts start piling up.

I made a list entitled, "Things that make me sad" and write down everything I could think of that was bothering me or causing me stress. These have been things like: "My room is a mess, I need to study my scriptures more, one of my car's tires is going flat, I need to read more..." My last list had 35 items on it that were causing me grief. They can be anything. Then I changed the title to "Things that make me happy" and converted every negative thing on that list into something positive. So my new list was something like this: "I am excited to clean my room tomorrow, I love to study my scriptures everyday and receive inspiration from the Spirit, I'm so glad that I can get my flat tire fixed for free tomorrow, Thank goodness for great authors and tons of books to read..." and the list went on. By the time I was done, I felt really good about my life and the stress was almost completely, if not entirely gone.

All of this can work just as well for you, just keep your thoughts and words positive, and if negative burdens pile up, get them out of your mind and on to some paper where you can deal with them from a more objective stand point, and then change them into fuel for a better life. Good luck.

Cookie Dough

Today has been one of those days...

You have probably heard of the grieving process. (Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance) Well, today I thought I would outline the process I have gone through amidst my anxieties and frustrations:

Stage One: "Fake it 'till you make it" This step is similar to denial in which you try to act as if nothing is wrong. You keep a smile on your face, and try to not dwell on negative things said to and/or about you. Depending on the quantity and severity of your difficulties, this may be the only step you need. But on a day like today, I had no choice but to continue to...

Stage Two: "Venting" When you pass the point where you can just let those things roll like water off a ducks back, there is usually no option but to seek the willing ear of a close friend or family member to unload on. This conversation will typically be quite one-sided, with you complaining in great detail about your circumstances and criticizing the people who contributed to your woeful state. Even things completely unrelated to the current day's issues will tend to arise, in a desperate attempt to make your situation seem more dire, and thus obtain more sympathy. Typically, there will also be a lengthy explanation included in which you explain how none of what is wrong is in any way your fault, and was exclusively caused by others. (Either by their ignorance/stupidity or more often their outright evil/malicious intent to make you feel miserable.) Note: If you are the one being vented to, there is no use in trying to reason with the "venter," all you can do at this point is listen, and say things like "I'm sorry" or "I love you."

Stage Three: "Letting the wound fester" After the venting process is complete, there will typically be some very wise advice given by the "ventee," which (because of their wisdom and lack of involvement in the situation) is objective, accurate, and extremely valuable. They offer this advice and help as a physician offering a soothing balm to ease the pain of a serious laceration. Unfortunately, at this point you choose to completely ignore what they say, and may even go through parts of stage two again. But the advice sinks in subconsciously, ready to be recalled at a time when you can think more rationally. (In a sense, you take the balm or ointment from the doctor, but refuse to apply it.) At this point, you tend to end up basking in the "self indulgent hot tubs of self pity."

Stage Four: "Cookie Dough" This is when you attempt to ease your pain by burying it in pleasure. In my case, frozen cookie dough. When you are eating cookie dough with a glass of milk on the side, everything is right with the world, there are no problems, and your mind is clear of everything but the euphoric sense of bliss emanating from the sugary gob in your mouth... That is, until you swallow. It only takes that long for troubles to fully reassert themselves, but that is easily solved by taking another bite... And another... This process may continue until you run out of cookie cough or you start feeling sick, whichever happens first. Either way, it will come to an end, and most likely you will end up at...

Stage Five: "Obtaining More Cookie Dough" Okay, so this isn't really stage five. That is, unless you have had a really hard day, in which case it may be necessary. But in most cases you will continue on to...

[The Real] Stage Five: "Rising above" I do not know the science behind it exactly, but that part of the subconscious mind where the good advice received in stage three is stored is somehow released into the conscious mind when the two hemispheres of the brain are connected by a wave of cookie dough-induced endorphins. The sickening, junk food feeling in your gut brings you back to reality, and you start being able to accept the wise counsel given to you by your loving friend or family member (or both, in my case). You begin to realize that what happened really wasn't that big of a deal, and the things that people said (or didn't say) weren't even that mean to begin with. Ultimately you decide to just move on with life because it is far too short to dwell on trivial things. Besides, life will keep moving on whether you like it or not, so you might as well enjoy it, if for no other reason than this: as life moves on, this day ends up farther and farther behind me. Now that is a comforting thought, almost as comforting as cookie dough.

Which reminds me, stage five will often end with some kind of resolution to go to the gym and work off all the cookie dough you ate. Which is fine, because doing so will not only burn off cookie dough calories, but any residual negativity as well.

Book Review: "The E-Myth: Why Most Small Businesses Don't Work and What to Do About It"

This book by Michael Gerber is truly a must-read for anyone who aspires to be an entrepreneur. It is also good for people who want to better understand entrepreneurs. It dispels the common myths surrounding people who start their own businesses and the myths that those same people believe that lead them to fail.

Among the most valuable things that this book helps you to do is see the future of your business, and to visualize what you want your business to go, and how to get it there. I imagine that there are people out there who believe they have no interest in entrepreneurship, but after reading this book and getting a new perspective, they may find the prospect more appealing.

Two weeks ago I reviewed another book on this same subject, both of these are important to read, as they help you understand the difference between owning a job, and owning a business. This one contains information on how to remove yourself from the framework of your business so that it can run independently without you, through other people. The other book will help you remove people altogether from your business and run on an even higher plane of automation. Very fascinating for anyone who wonders how business works. Check it out.