The Scariest Moment Of My Life!

I have come close to death and severe injury on many occasions in my life. I have nearly drowned twice, once while whitewater rafting, the other time in the ocean. I have had some scary close encounters with shards of glass that should have cut me to ribbons, and have had large rocks falling from above that just missed landing on me. I have been lost in the wilderness by myself more than once, and have nearly fallen off a few rock faces. I have been threatened to be shot while staring at a loaded shotgun. I have lost control of cars on black ice and/or snow several times, and confronted members of the Aryan Nations.

But all of that pales in comparison with what happened yesterday in a Good Earth Natural Foods store... But before I tell you exactly what happened, I will need to provide some background.

Last Christmas, I planned an extra special gift for my dearly beloved sister, April. She had recently gotten into the whole/natural food scene, and so I made and stocked a custom grain cupboard for her. To get the grains needed, I went to WinCo, and Good Earth Natural Foods. I found out that my dear mother also needed to go to these two stores, so like any good son, I decided to go with her. (And also so I wouldn't have to pay for gas.)

Anyway, I'll get to the point. There was a certain cashier at Good Earth, and she was extremely beautiful and radiant. A great smile, and tons of light in her face, she was practically glowing. Anyway, I tried to strike up a little conversation, which is quite difficult when you aren't really buying a lot. So I asked her to show me where something was, then I purchased it from her, and under the pressure of the people in line behind me, I wimped out and kept walking. After I left the store, my mother commented on how the cashiers thought I was "cute". This bolstered my courage and I asked if she would wait in the car while I went back inside to seek this fair maiden's number.

I went back in, grabbed some random product and got in her line. As luck would have it, the person in front of me had some protest about how much something cost, or they couldn't write a check, or their card was declined, or they were paying in all pennies, or something. They must have been there for 10 minutes, and I am standing behind them looking like an idiot because there is another line that is completely open. My nerves grew more tense, and then I heard a car horn. I thought it was my mother, and all my confidence was shattered. I put down whatever it was and left the store, only to find out that it was some one else honking, but it was too late. I could not go back. I was left to wonder if I would ever see this beautiful girl whose name started with "C" and was a little bit strange but I couldn't remember it because it was covered in part by her hair.

Anyhow, it was quite a traumatic experience, and every time I have gone to that store since, I have looked for her, but my efforts have been in vain. That is... until yesterday.

Of Course, fate would not allow me to meet this girl under normal, non-awkward circumstances though. The first time we met, I was with my mother (whom I love, and is in no way embarrassing to have around other than the fact that she is my mom...) and this time I was going to the aforementioned store to get supplies for a "Clue" themed party to be held that evening; and of course, was already in my costume. So here I am, dressed up as a character from a board game, this time having given a ride to my sister and nephew, and there she is. My sister sees how my eyes lock onto this angelic creature, gives a knowing look, and prods me over to ask for her number.

So there I stood. Eight months, almost to the day since I last saw her, and I go and get the same thing I purchased from her in December, ginger ale. I go through the line, while my sister takes the parallel checkout line, the whole while jerking her head in a "go ahead, ask her" motion, and I wimp out and keep walking. I just couldn't do it, asking a girl out without any basis is too scary. I am fine asking girls out that I know, or even ones I don't know that I can talk to for at least 5 minutes, but the fear of the unknown here was crippling. While my sister continued checking out, I seized my nephew in hopes that he would be a conversation starter, or if hit the jackpot, he would be as enthralled with this girl as I was, then I'd have an easy in. But no such luck. I left the store again, heartbroken. But at least this time I could read her name tag, "Caprise." Once out of the store, my sister threatened to go and ask herself if I didn't, and gave me the same reassuring confidence boost I got back in December. "She thinks you're cute, I'm a girl I can tell."

So for about a minute I gathered my courage, prepared what I was going to say, marched right back in there, she greeted me by saying "back again, huh?" in a melodiously beautiful voice, and I said... "Where is your bathroom?"

Apparently, I needed some more courage gathering, so I went to the bathroom, and on my way back out, I grabbed a sample cup of chocolate soy milk, drank it and then looked for a garbage can that I knew they kept under the registers so I could be close to her. This time there was no one else in the line, just Caprise, standing there looking at me, perhaps wondering why I was wearing a green shirt, green tie, and faded green corduroy flood pants. (I was obviously "Mr. Green" from Clue...) I disposed of my sample cup, looked her in the eye, and turned around to face the door. Then I stopped, turned back to face her, leaned over and said, "Actually I have one more question." She encouraged me to ask it, and I so I nervously inquired : "Not to be weird or creepy or anything, but I was wondering if you ever go on dates with random guys who come into natural... I mean, Good Earth Natural Foods..." She smiled that beautiful smile, giggled a little bit, and then said, "I would, if I was single..."

And that was it, just like that it was over. I gave her another smile, which she returned, and I quietly left the building. Now, this may not have been the ending I wanted, but the good news is, now that I have done it once, I think that I have crossed over some kind of mental barrier I had. So look out random good looking receptionists, cashiers, dental assistants, and girls on the street, there ain't no stopping me now...