Positive Thinking

We have all heard the ancient proverb, "For as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he." Many others may have even read the short, albeit famous book by James Allen on the subject. But I believe that most of us to not make these words real in our lives through application, or at least we do not do it in a conscious way. Which is quite a shame because there is real power in the practice of positive thinking. (as there is with negative thinking as well...)
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To illustrate my point, I will reference a story from Dr. Melvin Fish's book "Healing the Inner Self." The following is a true account.

"A family was in a car, traveling through an intersection, when a drunk
driver went through a red light at a speed in excess of 100 mph. Upon impact, the family’s car was broken completely into two separate parts, and the occupants scattered. The wife ended up on her back in the median. She knew she had many broken bones so she made no attempt to move. Her little child lay some distance away with a badly fractured skull. The husband was the least injured of any of them. He walked over to his wife and said as he looked down on a bloody mess, “I am a dead man.” Before morning, even though he had no serious injury, he slipped from this world to the next. All the other members of the family recovered."

This story demonstrates how much power there is in our words. Because words spring from thoughts, they make whatever idea you have seem even more real to yourself, the same is true for visualization. Allow me to quote another story from the same source cited above.

"This young man had been a basketball player for the university where he had been attending school, just a year or two prior to this time. While playing ball, he suffered a severe injury which damaged the ligaments in his ankle. The doctor told him that the body never heals itself from such an injury and he must accept the fact that he would never walk on that foot again.
He was not willing to accept that diagnosis. He kept all doubt out of his mind by constantly concentrating on the following mental picture: He visualized tiny little men within his body repairing the injury. To make the mental picture as vivid as possible, he even visualized them wearing T-shirts with logos on them. For several days he visualized those little men with
hammers, chisels, shovels, and brooms chipping away, cleaning up and discarding all of the damaged tissue just as workmen would dispose of debris from a badly damaged building before attempting to rebuild it. The next week was spent in visualizing these same little men with saws,
hammers and nails, bricks and mortar, etc. rebuilding his ankle. Two weeks after the injury, this young man returned to his doctor who could not believe his eyes. He was walking on both feet.
There was, however, a lot of stiffness in the ankle. Visualization then took on another phase of healing. The little men began working first, for a few days, with sandpaper, smoothing and sanding away the scar tissue. Next they spent several days polishing and buffing the new tissue.
Last of all they went around through the ankle with little oil cans lubricating the new tissue. The ankle completely recovered becoming as healthy and normal as the other. The interesting postscript to the story is the fact that soon after starting to play ball again he injured the other ankle, which was also completely healed in the same manner. Both ankles are completely normal and he can play ball without any difficulty or handicap."

Given these two examples, would you not rather utilize this power to make your life better? This is the principle upon which the book and documentary "The Secret" are based. The law of attraction, or the law of the harvest. We get what we focus on consistently, and too many of us in our day and age are consistently visualizing and talking about the negative. Saying things like "I hate my life." "My life sucks." "I'm so ugly." "I'll never reach ____ goal." "I just know I am going to get sick." and so on and so forth. What horrible realities to create for yourself!

Visualizing what you want to happen, and saying positive things about your life and situation is the sure fire way to happiness and success. You may have heard of people practicing "affirmations." To society, it seems like a silly practice, but it can help a lot with focusing your thoughts on the positive. It involves saying positive statements that are in present tense about yourself. So rather than "I will be skinny someday", you say something like "I am excited. I weigh ____ pounds and have never felt better. I love to look in the mirror, and have my clothes feel loose on me. I radiate a sense of health and well-being to everyone around me." See the difference? Imagine how much more powerful that last affirmation is compared to the first, and when combined with a visualization, just imagine the possibilities. But to have it work we have to stop attending pity-parties that we may tend to throw for ourselves, as these will only cause us to focus on the negative, which is what we will end up getting more of.

I know that this process is effective and that it works. I use it often in my life for a variety of problems and concerns. For some reason, it tends to be most effective right before bed and right before you wake up, perhaps your sub-conscious mind is most active at those times and takes those affirmations as truth. I know as well as any how difficult it can be at times to think positively, but in closing this post I will share with you a method I have used to help me when the negative and stressful thoughts start piling up.

I made a list entitled, "Things that make me sad" and write down everything I could think of that was bothering me or causing me stress. These have been things like: "My room is a mess, I need to study my scriptures more, one of my car's tires is going flat, I need to read more..." My last list had 35 items on it that were causing me grief. They can be anything. Then I changed the title to "Things that make me happy" and converted every negative thing on that list into something positive. So my new list was something like this: "I am excited to clean my room tomorrow, I love to study my scriptures everyday and receive inspiration from the Spirit, I'm so glad that I can get my flat tire fixed for free tomorrow, Thank goodness for great authors and tons of books to read..." and the list went on. By the time I was done, I felt really good about my life and the stress was almost completely, if not entirely gone.

All of this can work just as well for you, just keep your thoughts and words positive, and if negative burdens pile up, get them out of your mind and on to some paper where you can deal with them from a more objective stand point, and then change them into fuel for a better life. Good luck.

Cookie Dough

Today has been one of those days...

You have probably heard of the grieving process. (Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance) Well, today I thought I would outline the process I have gone through amidst my anxieties and frustrations:

Stage One: "Fake it 'till you make it" This step is similar to denial in which you try to act as if nothing is wrong. You keep a smile on your face, and try to not dwell on negative things said to and/or about you. Depending on the quantity and severity of your difficulties, this may be the only step you need. But on a day like today, I had no choice but to continue to...

Stage Two: "Venting" When you pass the point where you can just let those things roll like water off a ducks back, there is usually no option but to seek the willing ear of a close friend or family member to unload on. This conversation will typically be quite one-sided, with you complaining in great detail about your circumstances and criticizing the people who contributed to your woeful state. Even things completely unrelated to the current day's issues will tend to arise, in a desperate attempt to make your situation seem more dire, and thus obtain more sympathy. Typically, there will also be a lengthy explanation included in which you explain how none of what is wrong is in any way your fault, and was exclusively caused by others. (Either by their ignorance/stupidity or more often their outright evil/malicious intent to make you feel miserable.) Note: If you are the one being vented to, there is no use in trying to reason with the "venter," all you can do at this point is listen, and say things like "I'm sorry" or "I love you."

Stage Three: "Letting the wound fester" After the venting process is complete, there will typically be some very wise advice given by the "ventee," which (because of their wisdom and lack of involvement in the situation) is objective, accurate, and extremely valuable. They offer this advice and help as a physician offering a soothing balm to ease the pain of a serious laceration. Unfortunately, at this point you choose to completely ignore what they say, and may even go through parts of stage two again. But the advice sinks in subconsciously, ready to be recalled at a time when you can think more rationally. (In a sense, you take the balm or ointment from the doctor, but refuse to apply it.) At this point, you tend to end up basking in the "self indulgent hot tubs of self pity."

Stage Four: "Cookie Dough" This is when you attempt to ease your pain by burying it in pleasure. In my case, frozen cookie dough. When you are eating cookie dough with a glass of milk on the side, everything is right with the world, there are no problems, and your mind is clear of everything but the euphoric sense of bliss emanating from the sugary gob in your mouth... That is, until you swallow. It only takes that long for troubles to fully reassert themselves, but that is easily solved by taking another bite... And another... This process may continue until you run out of cookie cough or you start feeling sick, whichever happens first. Either way, it will come to an end, and most likely you will end up at...

Stage Five: "Obtaining More Cookie Dough" Okay, so this isn't really stage five. That is, unless you have had a really hard day, in which case it may be necessary. But in most cases you will continue on to...

[The Real] Stage Five: "Rising above" I do not know the science behind it exactly, but that part of the subconscious mind where the good advice received in stage three is stored is somehow released into the conscious mind when the two hemispheres of the brain are connected by a wave of cookie dough-induced endorphins. The sickening, junk food feeling in your gut brings you back to reality, and you start being able to accept the wise counsel given to you by your loving friend or family member (or both, in my case). You begin to realize that what happened really wasn't that big of a deal, and the things that people said (or didn't say) weren't even that mean to begin with. Ultimately you decide to just move on with life because it is far too short to dwell on trivial things. Besides, life will keep moving on whether you like it or not, so you might as well enjoy it, if for no other reason than this: as life moves on, this day ends up farther and farther behind me. Now that is a comforting thought, almost as comforting as cookie dough.

Which reminds me, stage five will often end with some kind of resolution to go to the gym and work off all the cookie dough you ate. Which is fine, because doing so will not only burn off cookie dough calories, but any residual negativity as well.

Book Review: "The E-Myth: Why Most Small Businesses Don't Work and What to Do About It"

This book by Michael Gerber is truly a must-read for anyone who aspires to be an entrepreneur. It is also good for people who want to better understand entrepreneurs. It dispels the common myths surrounding people who start their own businesses and the myths that those same people believe that lead them to fail.

Among the most valuable things that this book helps you to do is see the future of your business, and to visualize what you want your business to go, and how to get it there. I imagine that there are people out there who believe they have no interest in entrepreneurship, but after reading this book and getting a new perspective, they may find the prospect more appealing.

Two weeks ago I reviewed another book on this same subject, both of these are important to read, as they help you understand the difference between owning a job, and owning a business. This one contains information on how to remove yourself from the framework of your business so that it can run independently without you, through other people. The other book will help you remove people altogether from your business and run on an even higher plane of automation. Very fascinating for anyone who wonders how business works. Check it out.

The Scariest Moment Of My Life!

I have come close to death and severe injury on many occasions in my life. I have nearly drowned twice, once while whitewater rafting, the other time in the ocean. I have had some scary close encounters with shards of glass that should have cut me to ribbons, and have had large rocks falling from above that just missed landing on me. I have been lost in the wilderness by myself more than once, and have nearly fallen off a few rock faces. I have been threatened to be shot while staring at a loaded shotgun. I have lost control of cars on black ice and/or snow several times, and confronted members of the Aryan Nations.

But all of that pales in comparison with what happened yesterday in a Good Earth Natural Foods store... But before I tell you exactly what happened, I will need to provide some background.

Last Christmas, I planned an extra special gift for my dearly beloved sister, April. She had recently gotten into the whole/natural food scene, and so I made and stocked a custom grain cupboard for her. To get the grains needed, I went to WinCo, and Good Earth Natural Foods. I found out that my dear mother also needed to go to these two stores, so like any good son, I decided to go with her. (And also so I wouldn't have to pay for gas.)

Anyway, I'll get to the point. There was a certain cashier at Good Earth, and she was extremely beautiful and radiant. A great smile, and tons of light in her face, she was practically glowing. Anyway, I tried to strike up a little conversation, which is quite difficult when you aren't really buying a lot. So I asked her to show me where something was, then I purchased it from her, and under the pressure of the people in line behind me, I wimped out and kept walking. After I left the store, my mother commented on how the cashiers thought I was "cute". This bolstered my courage and I asked if she would wait in the car while I went back inside to seek this fair maiden's number.

I went back in, grabbed some random product and got in her line. As luck would have it, the person in front of me had some protest about how much something cost, or they couldn't write a check, or their card was declined, or they were paying in all pennies, or something. They must have been there for 10 minutes, and I am standing behind them looking like an idiot because there is another line that is completely open. My nerves grew more tense, and then I heard a car horn. I thought it was my mother, and all my confidence was shattered. I put down whatever it was and left the store, only to find out that it was some one else honking, but it was too late. I could not go back. I was left to wonder if I would ever see this beautiful girl whose name started with "C" and was a little bit strange but I couldn't remember it because it was covered in part by her hair.

Anyhow, it was quite a traumatic experience, and every time I have gone to that store since, I have looked for her, but my efforts have been in vain. That is... until yesterday.

Of Course, fate would not allow me to meet this girl under normal, non-awkward circumstances though. The first time we met, I was with my mother (whom I love, and is in no way embarrassing to have around other than the fact that she is my mom...) and this time I was going to the aforementioned store to get supplies for a "Clue" themed party to be held that evening; and of course, was already in my costume. So here I am, dressed up as a character from a board game, this time having given a ride to my sister and nephew, and there she is. My sister sees how my eyes lock onto this angelic creature, gives a knowing look, and prods me over to ask for her number.

So there I stood. Eight months, almost to the day since I last saw her, and I go and get the same thing I purchased from her in December, ginger ale. I go through the line, while my sister takes the parallel checkout line, the whole while jerking her head in a "go ahead, ask her" motion, and I wimp out and keep walking. I just couldn't do it, asking a girl out without any basis is too scary. I am fine asking girls out that I know, or even ones I don't know that I can talk to for at least 5 minutes, but the fear of the unknown here was crippling. While my sister continued checking out, I seized my nephew in hopes that he would be a conversation starter, or if hit the jackpot, he would be as enthralled with this girl as I was, then I'd have an easy in. But no such luck. I left the store again, heartbroken. But at least this time I could read her name tag, "Caprise." Once out of the store, my sister threatened to go and ask herself if I didn't, and gave me the same reassuring confidence boost I got back in December. "She thinks you're cute, I'm a girl I can tell."

So for about a minute I gathered my courage, prepared what I was going to say, marched right back in there, she greeted me by saying "back again, huh?" in a melodiously beautiful voice, and I said... "Where is your bathroom?"

Apparently, I needed some more courage gathering, so I went to the bathroom, and on my way back out, I grabbed a sample cup of chocolate soy milk, drank it and then looked for a garbage can that I knew they kept under the registers so I could be close to her. This time there was no one else in the line, just Caprise, standing there looking at me, perhaps wondering why I was wearing a green shirt, green tie, and faded green corduroy flood pants. (I was obviously "Mr. Green" from Clue...) I disposed of my sample cup, looked her in the eye, and turned around to face the door. Then I stopped, turned back to face her, leaned over and said, "Actually I have one more question." She encouraged me to ask it, and I so I nervously inquired : "Not to be weird or creepy or anything, but I was wondering if you ever go on dates with random guys who come into natural... I mean, Good Earth Natural Foods..." She smiled that beautiful smile, giggled a little bit, and then said, "I would, if I was single..."

And that was it, just like that it was over. I gave her another smile, which she returned, and I quietly left the building. Now, this may not have been the ending I wanted, but the good news is, now that I have done it once, I think that I have crossed over some kind of mental barrier I had. So look out random good looking receptionists, cashiers, dental assistants, and girls on the street, there ain't no stopping me now...

Book Review: "On Wings Of Faith"

Frederick Babbel, author of the previously reviewed book, "To Him That Believeth" shares stories and relates faith promoting experiences from his time spent in post World War II Europe with President Benson as they sought to bring aid to the needy members there.

Teaching doctrine straight up is more my style and preference, but if you are one of those who enjoys hearing others experiences and seeing how you can relate, this book is a must read. Many of the most faith promoting and inspirational stories you have heard in General Conference were taken directly from the first-hand accounts in this book. You cannot read this book without having your testimony of God's love and power strengthened. I especially recommend having read it for the times when you face a task that seems insurmountable, then you can reflect on how the Lord always prepares the way, even though He does so in different ways and for different purposes. And if nothing else, this book is a true testament that the day of miracles has not ceased and that God continues His great work in our day, just as much as He ever has.

Book Review: "The 4-Hour Workweek: Escape 9-5, Live Anywhere, and Join the New Rich"

Of all of the things in my life that made me want to be an entrepreneur, this book is truly one of the greatest influences. This is how I learned about how much freedom there can be in entrepreneurship, if you do it right.

Quite honestly, it was also this book that ultimately, albeit somewhat indirectly inspired me to start this blog. What would you do with your life if money was not an issue? What dreams and goals would you pursue? These kind of questions intrigued me because, who dared think that it was possible to automate an income to the point where you could work on things you really care about without worrying about having enough money to get by.

This book teaches you how. How to get out of the rat race, and join the new rich. This book is ultimately about freedom, and having control over your own life. In that sense, its mission is similar to that of this blog. Almost everything I post is meant to teach or show examples of how to gain freedom in your own life. I think this is one that everyone should read, and I assure you that it is not a boring business book, but a truly entertaining and engaging read. Enjoy!

Cost-Benefit Analysis

I don't think there are any activities that bring true, long term satisfaction except for those which involve considerable sacrifice and/or inconvenience. Often, the sacrifice will involve money, and it will always include a sacrifice of some of your time.

A cost-benefit analysis is typically used to make financial decisions, but I feel that it can be applied to most every decision when deciding if the result of carrying out that decision is worth more than the time and resources put into it. Going through this process is necesarry if we desire to follow the ancient counsel: "Wherefore, do not spend money for that which is of no worth, nor your labor for that which cannot satisfy."

Now the question: What satisfies you? Or in other words, what is so important to you that the time, inconvenience, and money it costs are no longer an issue? The answers will inevitable vary from person to person, but I think there are a lot of similarities in what we each value. As I give and explain my answers to the above questions see if you can identify some things about your own priorities.

Creating joyful memories is one of the most valuable and satisfying things I can do, and on a similar note, I find immense satisfaction in building positive relationships. These two feed off of and reinforce one another, memories are created as relationships are built and vice versa. The long-term worth of good friends and memories exceeds most anything else you can invest in. When difficult times inevitably arrive, I plan on having a reservoir of happy memories to draw on and hopefully a team of friends to support me, just as I try to be supportive of them.

Recently I took a road trip with a few friends up to the Pacific Northwest, which I will no doubt blog more about later. The trip was designed to be relatively inexpensive but of course it still carried with it a sizable price tag in money, time lost at work, missing school, and so forth. But I hardly gave those things a second thought when invited because I knew that the memories made and friendships strengthened were well worth it, and I was right. I also do not typically like to eat out a lot, but eating clam chowder or fish and chips on a pier in Seattle was more than just a meal, it was an experience.

I rarely, if ever watch TV or movies by myself because I do not think the loss of time is worth what I gain. Especially if I have seen that movie before, or if it is not educational in someway. However, I often watch movies and shows with friends/family because spending time together strengthens bonds and so forth. I'm sure by now you get the idea.

Other things that are worth my efforts, I put into goals so that I can measure them better. These are mostly things that are meant to improve myself as a person spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically. Things like studying the scriptures, exercising/triathlons, reading good books that benefit me with what I learn, which is why I only review non-fiction books on my blog. (I like fiction as well, but typically only listen to it while doing other things.)

Aspects of many of these things are not enjoyable, but the overall result is truly satisfying. Hiking as an example, the blisters, soreness, bug bites, and rocks in your shoes are not very fun. But the scenery and views you see, the peace you feel, the strength and endurance you gain, the appreciation for nature's beauty, the satisfaction you achieve, and (if you are not alone) the relationships built and strengthened, make the whole experience one worth repeating.

Before I wrap things up, I want to make a brief comment on the things we buy, rather than just the activities we spend money on. The same rules for me apply. Most often I can justify a purchase because of the long term benefits it will provide to me, take my recent purchase of a raft for example. It will help me better myself physically as I get exercise, as well as help create memories and friendships as I share it with others. The same went for my bike, my wetsuit and everything else that was required for my triathlons, these things are investments in a better life.

I hope that we are all happy with the way we spend our time and money, and if not, I know that we can be by undergoing a cost-benefit analysis by seeing how activities and purchases will help us later in and throughout life, and beyond. Pleasure is always trumped by satisfaction.