Ebbs and Flows

What is it about life that makes it seem to flow by easily and enjoyably for some period of time, and other periods are extremely difficult? I have thought that it is because circumstances will often change and cause us varying degrees of happiness or frustration, but I have realized lately that I still find myself having a particularly difficult or good time even when the status quo of my life remains relatively unchanged. And at other times circumstances change drastically, affecting to varying degrees how I feel.

I am not sure which is preferable, constancy or variance. The terrifying thought of constancy is getting caught in a less than desirable state of mind, so it is only comforting while you are happy and feel like things are going well. In contrast, variance brings reassurance during difficult times that things will and must eventually turn around. Of course it does not matter what I prefer. Life will bring you constantly changing motivations and circumstances, like it or not.

I have my own thoughts and ideas that trouble me that come around every now and then, at times I am incredibly motivated to fulfill certain goals, while at others I just feel like I need to make through the day, week, month, semester, etc. But in the darkest times, the old cliche "when God closes a door, He opens a window" holds true. Some kind of good is always flowing, even if the vast supply of your happiness seems ebbed. That is what we need to hold on to. The fact that happiness is always flowing. There is always something that can bring us satisfaction, joy, or fulfillment. It is difficult to focus on the water that gets past the hoover dam, because all that is held up behind it, and the dam itself are so awe inspiring as to steal all of our attention.

So when I just don't feel at all like reading my scriptures, or sticking to a budget, it is likely at that point that I really like to exercise, and I should focus on that and enjoy it as much as possible until the tables turn and reading scriptures is a pleasure and working out is like pulling teeth. There are wonderful times when many, if not all of these kinds of things seem to flow easily in your life. Embrace those times, however long they last, they are a great blessing.

So when some aspects of life really suck, acknowledge those things, without focusing exclusively on them. Do not convince yourself that your whole life is doomed to sorrow, because you failed a test, got sick, had your feelings hurt, got laid off, lost a friend, or whatever else. As you do so, I think you will find that happiness will "flow" more freely and frequently.

Honestly, I hope that such is the case, because it is what I am striving to do. I am no oracle or guru that has obtained unending peace and happiness. I need this advice as much as or more than anyone, which is often the case with what I write. So if you are struggling, look for the good, and if you are doing great, bask in it. Enjoy it as much as possible, and fill your positive memory bank so that you will have something to draw on when things are not so smooth.

In closing, I quote the demon Screwtape in a letter to his nephew, Wormwood on the need we have for change (ebbs and flows) and the dangers that arise if we allow their kind to exploit that need through fear, as well as an assurance that, in times of seemingly excessive ebbing, eventual flows are inevitable...

"The horror of the Same Old Thing is one of the most valuable passions we have produced in the human heart—an endless source of heresies in religion, folly in counsel, infidelity in marriage, and inconstancy in friendship. The humans live in time, and experience reality successively. To experience much of it, therefore, they must experience many different things; in other words, they must experience change. And since they need change, the Enemy (being a hedonist at heart) has made change pleasurable to them, just as He has made eating Pleasurable. But since He does not wish them to make change, any more than eating, an end in itself, He has balanced the love of change in them by a love of permanence. He has contrived to gratify both tastes together on the very world He has made, by that union of change and permanence which we call Rhythm. He gives them the seasons, each season different yet every year the same, so that spring is always felt as a novelty yet always as the recurrence of an immemorial theme. He gives them in His Church a spiritual ear; they change from a fast to a feast, but it is the same feast as before."